This Week... Welcome, the Prince of Whales

Commentary

"I'm learning English at the moment. I can say 'Big Ben', 'Hello Rodney', 'Tower Bridge' and 'Loo'." – Cher

"I do not like mud baths at all." – Rick Hoffman

"The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards." – Billy Connolly

Right, who stole summer? It was one of you and I'm not f**king about? Give us it back or else… This week metal fans have had a wonderful time watching bands in the mud, the photos which emerged from Download Festival have made for some painful viewing – we've all been there, when you can't quite tell whether one of the portaloo's has had a tough night or if you are walking upon a wave of bog water which will take you slowly and steadily out to sea. Festivals are great right? Who likes metal music anyway? Not us… Lol JK.

Here's some genuine footage taken from the scene…

Elsewhere, Donald Trump was on top form once again… All jokes aside he delivers time and time again without fail, it's hard to be that funny on demand every week, trust me I write this shite. Anyway, in what is a joke as old as time he referenced recent symbolic encounters with various world leaders – the Queen of England, the President of France, PM of Ireland and the Prince of Whales… Whales…. WHALES…. WHAAAALES….

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Someone needs to tell big Donald that you can't be a prince of giant sean mammals, it's just not possible….

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Meanwhile, big trouble in little England was solved by the heroic artistic merit of a mere schoolboy, he should be knighted this instant. Someone call Picasso, get Van Gogh over here right now! Did any of their art ever solve crimes? It bloody well did not… I tell you the boy is a superhero in disguise… Anyway, wanna' see the picture yeah?