Commentary

"I liked you a lot Coleen, & I'm so upset that you have chosen to do this, especially when I'm heavily pregnant." – Rebekah Vardy

"If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." – William Lyon Phelps

"Am I eating chicken or tuna?" – Jessica Simpson

You know what? Sometimes writing this article can be b**dy hard work – what if it's been a sh*t week? What if my cat's died or something? Maybe I crashed my car? Do you even care? I guess not…

How's things with you? Have you found that new job yet? Or got round to learning a new skill? Perhaps you finally solved who's been selling all your stories to The Sun for all these years? Wherever you are in the world we hope you are as happy and impassioned as this guy saving the planet.

All jokes aside though, Extinction Rebellion are great. However, perhaps there is a better way to save the planet than asking half naked white men with dreadlocks to perform interpretative dance to police officers. Just saying.

Anyway, over to Siberia where our favourite adventure President has been on the prowl eating wild fruits and showing off his stick. Vladimir Putin never fails to entertain or surprise. Meanwhile our own prolific leader has been showing off the size of his… tie.

Elsewhere, Plastician had a bloody expensive trip in an Uber and taught us all a lesson. Don't fall asleep in taxis folks. Just shows, DJ's are real people too… Take EZ for example…

On the internet there's been some funny stuff happening lately, people posting some cool content and stuff. It really is a remarkable space, what a time we live in…