In this intimate at-home interview, Larry and I explored his inner world. From fears to fantasies, tenderness to triumph – we investigate the human behind the music and the life of an artist facing new and uncertain challenges. 

FELIX: Let’s start somewhere simple. What makes you move? 

LARRY: For me… It needs to have rhythm and soul. And I feel, or I’ve always felt quite funny as a white bloke saying that, but at the end of the day that’s what moves me. Ultimately, it always comes down to black formed music. It’s pretty rare that I’ll vibe with a sound that doesn’t have its roots entrenched in a form of black community. 

FELIX: Is your current music a deviation from the sound that people know you for, or a deviation from what you expected? 

LARRY: Yeah, good question. I think about it everyday. A lot of my forthcoming album is me reaching. The dance music I’ve got coming out, or I’ve had out, it works differently. That stuff is a pure extension of me. For example, the forthcoming dance music releases I have, they are just extensions of my own being and soul. 

But the singing music… I’m delving into new areas. 

I’m very much challenging myself. 

FELIX: Talk to me about anarchy, about disrupting tropes. 

LARRY: I don’t actually know anything about anarchy. 

“I know about chaos, but I’ve not really understood or delved into anarchy. It’s still a format. It’s still a rule. Chaos seems a step further still. It seems to be the thing that anarchy is trying to contain.” 

I suppose chaos or even anarchy are still quite subjective. It depends on what’s chaotic to you. Some people might find my music chaotic. For example, I used to love to fully break down a track and from there reset it, rebuild it. 

You can find tropes and break them, put things in there in such a forceful way. That’s something I’ve probably got some notches on my belt for. However, trying to do it in a way that is subtle and insidious, as a trade off for that shock factor – that’s something I find myself drawn to more and more. Almost to freak them out… being weirder, rather than more shocking. 

Things like ‘time’ and the concept of decay. That faceless sort of evil. Those are things that keep me coming back for more. Yet, within the music I write it’s such a thin line to tread, figuring out what makes those things exciting and inspiring, but knowing where the line is.

[Larry sits upright] 

It’s only a pin prick away from self-indulgent wankery really. Don’t get me wrong I love that shit, super indulgent, scary goth stuff – but there’s such a thin line between making it appealing or downright horrible. 

“I’m just a curious little boy on a tightrope, looking down and thinking wow, it’s so far, but I wouldn’t actually jump… that would be crazy.” 

FELIX: How has your new music challenged you? 

LARRY: I had to learn it all again. It’s been hard. 

Although, that was more the last record. Now I’m honing down into this way of doing things and learning how to make it work. 

My forthcoming album is less melodramatic, but it’s all fairly DIY. Pretty average mics, pretty average set-ups, and just doing what I’ve always done. Follow the feeling. 

That’s the one thing that’s remained the same. Trying my best not to get caught up, to ignore doing things for the sake of them and making sure systems or formats remain just as a guide. Having rigid formats for making things can end up causing more harm than good. This new work, frightening as it is sometimes, has definitely added more colours to my pallet.

From spending the weekend together, I could see that Larry’s latest endeavours, although integral to his journey, had left him with a lot of uncertainty. This was something we touched on at different points. It seemed so necessary for Larry to be stepping out of his comfort zone, but the fear that came with it was cutting him deep.

FELIX: The fact that this new approach has added tools to your arsenal and that you are seeking change, seems to me like a sign of life. When something stops changing – it dies. So, the challenge is to keep up, keep up with living.
If you’re choosing new things to overcome, that implies you want to be this dynamic living thing – tapping into the potential we all have to be more than what people expect. It’s so easy for me to say because my life isn’t resting on it. But it is inspiring to see. To watch as someone goes out of their comfort zone, and allows others to witness them – not knowing what may happen.

All you can hope… is that you give others the confidence to do the same. That’s when beautiful things happen.

[Larry was strongly moved by this and we took a moment]

LARRY: It’s wild.. It’s wild how much sadness there is inside me about myself. 

FELIX: But you seem capable of connecting with it. It seems that through this expressive process, you find ways to let it out. 

There’s beauty in that, but I appreciate it must be difficult to balance when you’re trying to make a living out of it.” 

LARRY: You’re so right… but sometimes I feel like I need to keep track of that process. 

The place where I’ve come to, through somewhat of a humbling perspective shift, is realising I’m just another person doing this music stuff. All you can do is be what you know, do the work, and hopefully things will come together. That’s all you’ve got.

It’s easy to go on these wild self-indulgent journeys, feeling sorry for yourself or feeling lost, but I come back to the same point. Do the work. Get on with it.

FELIX: Are there people in your life that help keep you grounded? 

LARRY: Yes, absolutely. I just have to be really careful because I’m so impressionable. I’d say I have a party mix of hyperfocus ADHD and autism and I’ve had to be careful how I express myself sometimes. 

Some people around me are like that too and it’s amazing to be around them because they show me a bit of myself. Then I have others whom I could scream into their void for ages and they’d just look back at me and just go: ‘hmm… okay.’ 

It’s less about people’s opinions and more about their energy. 

I am so grateful to have people around me that gently push and pull. They ultimately help contain me. They accept me for who I am. 

FELIX: Do you think you’re at a point now where you see these relationships in a different light? 

LARRY: It’s something I’m realising as I get a little older. A lot of people, especially my age pushing into their thirties, start getting work obsessed. 

My friend, Kit, reminded me that in a creative job – there’s no such thing as a ‘career’. That word takes you into a lineage or linear thing – defeating the whole process. It can remove you from the wonderful experiences around you and the importance of those bonds; what they bring to you. It’s those people that give me the energy to stay on my feet. 

But I still have to make more of an effort. To let those people, those words, those experiences wash over and sink into me. I’ve also seen, and I’d say with men in particular, there’s a need to actually remind yourself to socialise and maintain those healthy connections. It’s so easy to lose sight of. 

FELIX: What might be a message that you would share to some of these people – trapped in cycles that force them away from social bonds. What might be a message that you’d like them to hear? 

LARRY: [Pauses… ] 

It’s so important to remember… Everybody you have an interaction with, you are known by. And to be known by someone means you can be missed. No one is too insignificant to be missed. You may think you’re doing people a favour by saying goodbye… but whatever you think – anyone who has known you can miss you.

Larry goes on to explain how he had suffered from depression at points, and in recent years, he had hit some deep lows.

LARRY: It (depression) is a gloating horrid beast… and with it comes the ability to travel deeper and deeper into sadness. When you’re out of it you look back and realise what a piece of shit your brain was being. 

For my 30th I put on a big old party at Baskerville Hall where they throw Free Rotation and other festivals. I rented out the whole place and basically had a ‘larry-fest’. Loads of other friends had birthdays around then so we all celebrated and it was so much fun. 

But the year before, I had to call off my birthday because I was feeling so awful, suicidal. So after that huge party and everyone just being like ‘big ups’… that night I went to my room and cried. It was a huge release. Just to know there are people out there that really like me. People that would really miss me if I was gone. 

FELIX: What are your actions nowadays showing you? 

LARRY: Right. So, what have I done, or what am I doing?

Well, my partner and I had a break and it was incredibly helpful. All those instincts that kick in when you’re suddenly about to lose someone, it shows you very quickly what needs to happen. In this case I could do those things without dragging the other person through it. 

Another thing is not pushing my body too hard. Learning to stop trying to be something I’m not. Taking my time and respecting my body. There’s often drugs involved in the scene but fortunately I’ve been fairly strict with that stuff. I also have enough good role models around me and deep down discipline to stop me from drifting too far. 

I think that when I’ve been really low, it’s those things that have stopped me from taking my life. But something definitely had to break to show me how much I wanted to live. 

A final thing to be aware of is the time you spend working. Bear in mind how much you’re investing into that. I’m not saying don’t work hard, but just keep an eye on it. You don’t get these years back and it’s so important to spend that time with people. Especially in creative careers. You live through your work, so don’t save all the living for later.

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