Asking For A Friend #109

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. (They? Who's 'they'? Is that the voices in my head again?) If that were really true, then I wouldn't have to bother writing this intro, would I now? Consider this as padding, "meat in the room", a limp entrée before the main course arrives. Did you know Henry VIII once served a cockentrice and a dolphin to the King of France at a royal banquet? And yes, a cockentrice is exactly what you're thinking – or not, depending on the volume of effluent currently filtering through your brain – a half-pig, half-turkey combo designed to look like a mythical beast. And you thought pigs in blankets were the height of culinary sophistication. Is that enough now? Tuck in your napkins and get ready to feed from the golden trough that is Asking For A Friend.

Anyone give us a lift to Reading?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy this life size model of Noel Edmonds?
Asking for a friend.

Has anyone found a shopping list in Tesco today?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a poncho?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a balearic donkey? 
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy these vintage artisan breakfast goggles?
Asking for a friend.

After having laser eye surgery do real laser beams shoot out of your eyes?
Asking for a friend.

Is this a good disguise to wear if you're stalking someone?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a balearic elf?
Asking for a friend.

Will this stop 'them' reading my mind?
Asking for a friend.

Does the new tattoo look good? 
Asking for a friend.