This Week... Big Fights & Fishy Missiles

Commentary

"The dignified and worthwhile life that the Korean people enjoy at present and the great changes taking place in the country, as well as everything valuable that will belong to the rosy future when the dreams and ideals of the people will come true, would be unthinkable apart from the supreme leadership of DPRK." – Ja Song Nam

“Jacket potato and cheese and that” – Brian Harvey

"I might fade into Bolivian." – Mike Tyson

So, the top story this week came in the form of a fat man throwing his toys out of the pram. Kim Jong Un was back on form again as he launched missiles over Japan in what was supposedly a show of fierce strength. This British guy was clearly sh**ing himself and the whole world was scared we might go to war again for the gazillionth time. However, this is not the most remarkable story to emerge from the world's favourite dictatorship as of late… Back in June Kim Jong Un decided that it was time for North Korea to elevate it's superiority, asserting itself as an unrivalled tourist destination capabale of competition with the likes of Hawaii, Barcelona, the Bahamas and well, Benidorm. Think something may have been lost in translation there mate…

Elsewhere Berlin has been overrun by giant, man eating, lobsters. Believed to be part of a new satanic cult bred within the confines of Berghain, weird creatures have been growing in parks with the intention of taking over planet earth. At first some believed these were sunburnt people finally surfacing after Love Parade but they were soon corrected.

There was a big fight last week, one guy hit another guy and then some people argued about the legitimacy of the hitting. Did he hit him hard enough? Was he only pretending to hit? Wasn't it impressive the guy who didn't usually hit this way hit so well? Oh, and why was Floyd Mayweather dressed live a sniper from the IRA? I guess we will never know.